Finding out what makes marriage succeed or fail!

John Gottman has devoted his life to answering this question. He and his wife, Julie, who is also an accomplished therapist in her own right, developed a method of working with couples that imparts the knowledge (and wisdom) gained from researching thousands of couples over decades of marriage.

Gottman’s seminal research has had a major impact on our cultural understanding of relationships. He has been widely interviewed, published multiple books and continues research on related topics, including improving couples successful transition to parenthood, the dynamics of trust, emotion coaching with children and a new website geared towards exploring sexuality. He and Julie have developed a training program to certify therapists in the Gottman Method of couples counseling and developed the very popular Art & Science of Love Couples workshop.

How does a research-based method benefit you?

Rather than count on my personal life experience, opinions and values alone to guide you, I bring a wealth of research based assessment and tools to help you succeed.  In the process of exposing yourself to Gottman’s research, you will learn what truly makes or breaks a relationship, while developing realistic expectations about what a healthy, loving relationship looks like.

A few examples:  It might surprise you to know that conflict in itself is not an indication of a failing or unhealthy relationship!  69% of what any couple fights about (or differs on) will remain a perpetual problem, throughout the duration of the relationship. This is true even if you start a new relationship with someone else – you will simply end up having differences about other topics!  It might surprise you to know that showing humor or care during an argument increases your chances of staying together and being happy or that it is possible to maintain respect even when arguing or having opposite views on important topics. How about updating your concept of compromise, seeing it as a win-win rather than a process of giving up or giving in?

Getting started with me, your Certified Gottman Therapist

All Certified Gottman Therapists (of which I am proud to be) provide a thorough, standardized intake process, spanning three sessions.  This includes the results of an extensive questionnaire, designed by the Gottmans, to assess your relationship’s strengths and weaknesses according to the research.

1. an initial joint intake session, 1.5 hours

2. one individual session each, 1 hour

3. a feedback session, 1 hour

In the feedback session, your results will be discussed, along with setting goals for future sessions.

4. Assessment of strengths and weaknesses according to the research

Most couples I work with find tremendous value in the intake process, and often find hope, clarity or at the very least, initial insight into their problems.  Many appreciate the in depth preparation as it helps create a more balanced, fair representation of your relationship, from both points of view, as well as its history and context.

To learn about Gottman, please visit the Gottman websites listed below:

www.gottman.com
www.gottsex.com
www.bbhonline.org